Marlene

http://www.suzannevega.com/lyrics/w54lyr.htm#marlene

Since I talked to B about J (aka Miss Piggy) the other day, and since I recently heard this song, I thought I'd share... J burned Suzanne Vega's first album for me, presumably because I once mentioned liking some of her music, but that may be giving him too much credit. I would listen to these lyrics and figured that he burned the CD for me because of this song...

After the breakup (I will call it that even though it's not quite the right word) I asked if he gave me this song for a reason or if he was saying something with it or how it might be relevant. He was bewildered and had no clue what I could possibly mean. He asked me to explain (I did not). I left thinking I must be so far gone, making these connections where none exist.

Though I threw away the Suzanne Vega album he burned for me, I recently came across an old mix CD that I made long ago with this song on it. I considered throwing it away because it contains music he gave me, but then figured it had nothing to do with him and the song was totally incidental, so I kept it. I don't think it's merely the teenage narcisist or romantic in me (which does in fact exist, I learned these last two years) that feels like every song was written about her life. Now that I am sober and recovered (mostly) from the J-illness, I still hear something in the lyrics that are applicable to my relationship with him. So... mostly sober, and mostly in my right mind, when I listen to this song, the lyrics are still about me. And I wonder at the varying levels of thoughtlessness he has demonstrated during the course of my relationship with him, and at what it was that blinded me to it so.

Sigh....