Anaheim

After all the mental preparation for seeing Miss Piggy in Anaheim, I find I am still affected in ways beyond my control and it seriously hurts. My eyes were darting to and fro at the airport in Chicago, worried he'd be on my flight. When I arrived at the hotel I couldn't help but look about, and of course, there he was, in the hotel bar drinking and having a good time with TTC, CK, JD, and my old-new colleagues (well, with DW, since he can't stand MS). But my initial reaction (again) was immediate and physical - rapid heart beat, quick breathing, largely fight-or-flight, and painful. I thought about him last night, and now this morning. My challenge today is to remain centered, and remember to enjoy the conference and take care of myself while I am here. So what if he is in the room? So what if he is talking to people I want to talk to? And so what if I can't talk to them? It's not a huge deal - one conference is not going to determine anything important about my life, so if I don't get anything out of being here, that's ok too. There had to be a first time to see him, and this is it, and that's ok. If only I can hold onto that today and not break into tears....